onewhoisall | (no subject)

Entry tags:

kaine

(no subject)

Cassandra was not an emotional person. She didn't react the way others did, she didn't act the way a normal girl would to things. She wasn't normal but she didn't mind that. Not until now, she didn't know what to say or do about what, who she had seen. She didn't know what to do but she knew who she wanted to see.

Her face was blank, her fingertips rushed as she hurried into his apartment. She didn't look at him as she moved quickly over to him, throwing her arms around his middle and holding him tightly. She pressed her face against his chest, making the world go away for a little while. She didn't say anything, she didn't have to because he would know. He knew her better than anyone here. Almost as well as Steph.

Barbara was here. Barbara was here. It was good but it was all wrong.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

She doesn't know what this is, his hands in her hair and the way it makes her feel inside. Cass tightened her grip, hands turning into tight fists pressed against his back. She inhaled, breathing deeply as she turned her face into his chest. She didn't cry, she didn't cry ever.

"She's here," Cass murmured softly, quietly into his chest. "Batgirl."

"Uhhh, you're Batgirl?"

I'm really confused by all this, first because Cass is never like this and second because she is Batgirl. I know she's mentioned some other people back home were Batgirl at different times, but I don't know why any of them would make her act like this.

"She was first. She was Batgirl. She was... everything," Cass said. Someone she looked up to but in a different way to Bruce. She taught her how to speak, she taught her how to act around others, she gave her food and looked after her. She cared. No one cared before her. "She doesn't know who I am."

"Oh."

I don't know what to say. I can't imagine what it's like, having someone you care about that much to not know who you are. I can't really think of anyone like that in my life, all the friends I have I've only known for a short while.

"I... I'm sorry," I say and continue to hold her close, as a loss for what else to do.

"I don't know why it hurts," Cass said quietly, pressing her knuckles into his spine and holding him tight. Almost painfully tight. She knew he was stronger than others though, she knew he could handle it if she let her control slip a little. "I thought I would be happy. She can walk... but I'm not."

I notice how tight she's holding me and it's a sign of just how upset she is that she's gripping me this hard. With a normal person it would be painful, possibly damaging. I can take it though and even if I couldn't, I wouldn't say anything.

"It's okay to be sad if someone you cared about doesn't know you."

"I'm not..." Her voice trailed away. She didn't know if she were sad or not but it hurt inside to think that Barbara didn't know her. She had no idea who she was, all the years of training and teaching and family gone in one moment. "I miss her but now she's here and she doesn't know me. She taught me how to speak and she doesn't know who I am."

"That must hurt."

I don't know what else to say other than to try and help her express what she's feeling. I'm really bad at this comforting thing and I'm pretty sure I'm just going to make everything worse for her. She needs someone less messed up.

"Is she younger or from a different reality?"

"Stop it... idiot," Cass murmured, feeling the words in his shoulders and his chest and in the way his heart beat sounds beneath his chest. Cass pulled back a little, looking up at Kaine before she leaned up and kissed him softly. A small, gentle reminder that he was doing good at this. That they both were. "Hn, both I think. I don't know. She thinks my... who I think my mother is, is the same age as her. That's wrong."

Of course she knows when I'm worried and doubting myself. It's not like I forget that I can tell, it's just difficult to stop feeling that way.

"Oh, yeah, different realities are weird."

She stretched her hands up his back, spreading her smaller hands flat across his back as she showed him with her hands that despite what he thought she cared, she didn't doubt him for one moment. Breathing slowly, pulling herself back into calmness and stillness, she leaned up to brush another kiss against his lips.

"You've experienced them? Other realities?" Cass asked softly.

I kiss her back, reassuring her that I'm here and I haven't forgotten her. Whatever she sees in me I'm glad that I'm able to comfort her at least a little bit. I wish I could make it all better for her though.

"Not personally. My, uh, brother gets more into that stuff."

Cass reached up, brushing soft fingertips through the scruff of his hair and twisting her fingertips in it until they were lost. She tilted her head back, leaning up into the kiss before she pressed her forehead against his.

"Your brother... is that what you think of him?" Cass asked softly, touching his cheek gently. "Do you think it will get easier? With her?"

"No, just the easiest way to describe him without having to explain the situation."

There's too much to Peter and I to describe him or my relationship to him in one word, but I figure brother is the closest. Not that I really have much to compare it to.

"And yeah, it will. Won't be the same but that doesn't mean it can't eventually be as good."

"Kon didn't like to talk about his... 'brother' either. His other family, his ma and pa, he didn't mind talking about." Cass said thoughtfully, letting her fingers stretch through his hair and press against his skull. She let her fingertips massage his head, moving closer to him as she leaned against him for support and comfort. "I know. She's still Barbara, it's just... different. She should know me like I know her."

Most guys might not like their girlfriend comparing them to their ex, but I don't really care. She's with me, not him, end of discussion.

"Well, if I see my 'father' again I'm going to kill him and all my other brothers are dead. I think."

The Jackal got so happy with the cloning process that it's very possible there are other clones out there. Possible, but not likely.

"I know. It'll be hard to adjust to that."

"Kaine..." Cass murmured, stretching her arms up to hold him closer. She wouldn't kill, she knew he would but she didn't. She couldn't, that would mean admitting her father was right about her and she couldn't allow that. "Don't. If you find him don't do anything without me. Okay?"

Cass nodded, pressing her face against his chest before she murmured quietly. "Let's stay tonight... in."

Cass always patrolled, she always had but she just didn't want to tonight.

I wrap my arms around her tighter, practically folding her into me. I've never had to do anything like this before and it's not all that bad. It's protecting someone, but without punching anyone. That's weird.

"I'll try," I tell her in regards to the Jackal. That's about all I can do, because if I have the chance to kill him I'm not going to let it slip away while I wait for her to show up.

"And staying in is fine."

That is all she asks for, she knows she cannot promise anything and knows that she, herself, treads a thin line of control. But she hoped, he made her hope.

"Good," Cass murmured, stretching her hand up before pressing her foot against his thigh and lifting herself up. Making him make the decision to catch her and carry her or fall.

"Yeah, okay, just climb on up," I say, reaching up and shifting her so that I'm carrying her over my shoulder. If she's going to make me carry her, I'm going to do it however I want.

"What is it you want to do?"

Cass furrowed her brow a little and let out a soft noise of surprise as Kaine shifted her. Cass dangled a little, shirt rising a little as she gripped him for support before relaxing into the hold.

"You answered that without me asking with words," Cass said, a little proud of him even if he was carrying her in a revealing way. "Hn, kiss? Sleep? Watch a movie? You could teach me more reading."

"I'm terrible at teaching you how to read," I point out. I'm not very patient or educated so any attempts at helping her learn to read are fumbling at best.

"And stop squirming so much," I add, shifting to hold her better, ignoring the position that she's in.

"No, you're not. You just don't motivate me the way father did," Cass replied simply. He wasn't trying to kill her for one. "You stop squirming."

It was childish but she couldn't help it. She squirmed a little more against him, wriggling until she was settled more.

"Yeah, I'm not going to motivate you that way."

She knows I won't. I may be a monster, but I'm not that much of a monster. At least, not anymore. I'm not sure what that says about me.

"And I'm not squirming," I say, poking her in the side. "You are."

"Because you're not like him. Because you're good. Hn... you could motivate me in other ways." Cass suggested, pressing her foot against his stomach deliberately. She slid her toes down his stomach and thigh, grinning slightly as he poked her. "You like carrying me."