I don't know how long it's been since I was in that place. Days or weeks I don't know and I don't care. I should still be back in that place. That's where monsters belong. That's where I belong.

All I know now is whatever booze I can get a hold of and just feeling miserable for myself. Not, that's not it. I don't pity myself, I hate myself. I hate myself for thinking I can have good things in my life. But I can't. I don't deserve them. I deserve to be back in that place.

When I wake up the shock of the cold water is the first thing that I notice, the pain is the second. Someone has hit me, hurt me, and I try and lash out against them but I can't move.

"Get off me!" I roar at them, thrashing me body. "I'll kill you!"