"After you sucker punch them," I say, not moving to push her away. Now that I know what the little things she's doing mean I'm less comfortable with them, but somehow I can't quite bring myself to push her away.

For now, it's easy to keep myself from getting too... invested that way. The sting of being a monster, of being unworthy of being around people, is fresh in a way that makes it easy to fend off any feelings of anything more than mild appreciation.